1、英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》Werseveryfivemiles焦仲卿Johnny(Jfsht)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lfsht)焦母Johnny’smother(JMfsht)劉母Lunch’smother(LMfsht)太守之子May’sson(MSfsht)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABC)(J作被打狀跑上臺內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒J被打中狼狽不堪)J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpeckedbutinfactI’masstrong

2、asatiger(小聲)whilemywifeisWuSong.(指著上臺處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆J接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)ThenI’mafraidofwhomMywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbhood.Sheisbraverthanmesmarterthanmestrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthe

3、rtoetenderthanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒擊中J)MyGod!Whocanhelpme(下)Act1(序幕結(jié)束時JM作竊聽狀)JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!(對門內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!WhereareyouL(扎著圍裙拿著鍋鏟從門內(nèi)跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmumJM:I’vetoldyouag

4、ainagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuldearestmotherinlaw”.L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefuldearestmotherinlawwhat’supJM:Sinceyoumarriedmyonyouhavbehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorudesobrusquesolazy……L:But……JM:Neverint

5、erruptme!L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyoursonthaterribleJohnnyIhavebeenwkinghardalldaylongcookingwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthoussofpigsduckschicken……JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrson!L(生氣地?fù)]動著鍋鏟):Ohyouwa

6、ntagrsondon’tyou(開始解圍裙)Goaskyourson.I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙扔在JM的臉上下)Act2(LM坐在臺上打毛線L拿著鍋鏟上)L:MumI’mback!LM:YouarebackWhyWhathappenedL:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefuldearestmother–inlaw.LM(驚訝但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadyto

7、ldyou!WhenouinsistedonmarryingthaterribleJohnnyIoldouthatheisuglystupidpobutyoudidnotlistenwithyou.YoutakethemoneyItakethebride.B:HaveyougotanyexperienceJ:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期MS意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅

8、綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺)(J和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺中)ABC&J:Heyyou!Stoplistentous!A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!B:Iplantedonetree.C:IfyouwanttogobythisstreetJ:Giveusallyourmoney!(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊并躲到了的身后)(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來J矮身一躲，MS